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26 November 2009 @ 09:38 pm

Wasn't all too wonderful.
But that's because my feelings have been hurt.
David took back his feelings for me.
Of course I'm hurt. But his reason is understandable.
His ex died not long ago.. and he's not ready to move on.
Tho why he bothered with me from the start when he knew this, once again leaves me thinking it's a lie.
But who am I to say so?
I should have known from the start things were too good to be true. Ha.
I'm struggling with trying to be his friend. He hardly wants to even talk to me. :/
And that alone hurts me even more..
I miss him. Because, for once, it felt like someone cared. He called all the time. Was always online. Stuff..
And to call it all off so suddenly like this upset me.
But of course.. it was most-likely all a lie.
I tend to fall for them. Ha.

Anyways..
Thanksgiving was okay as of the hoilday. Tho I had the heartbreak feeling in my stomach all day. Of course that's expected.
I hung out with my 2-year-old cus, Amilea. She's so cute. She clung onto me all day and didn't want me to leave when we had to go. She was all; Emmaieee nuuuh~! T o T
And I was like awww > w < I'll see yew soon<3
Tho..
When we said our blessings..
We had to each say what we were thankful for..
Without thinking, I started crying and said I was very thankful that my mom was alive.
It's true. The thing I care about most is that she's okay..
Because if I had lost here that day..
I'd NEVER be the same. Ever. I love my mom.
I'm her little girl.
Even tho I'm grown.
I will always love my mommy..

Neh ; x ;
It's been a long day..
Imma hit the hay..
Night.

Current Mood:

depressed

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22 November 2009 @ 12:38 pm

Me and David have hit things off with a big bam. I swear.
I couldn't be more happier. And I'm not joking about that.
David is the best boyfriend I've EVER had.
He's always there. Always wanting to talk to me, and he's willing to do anything if it were to make me happy.
And he calls me all the time, just to see what I'm up too. To make sure I'm alright.
He's just amazing.
I love him. And I mean that. Everything about him. His laugh. His sweet silly talking. And even his pervert side. Haha.. xD
He's such a pervert. But thats what makes him funny.
He's a lot like me, and I know for a fact he's the guy I've been waiting for.
For once in my life. I don't have to worry about not going one day without talking. One day missing him like nuts. Like I did with my past boyfriends. No.
He says I'm perfect. That I'm amazing. And that I'm adorable & cute. He's the first person ever. To say those things to me.
Friday Night.. After things settled. And I we were roleplaying/talking on msn. I finally couldn't hold it back anymore, and I was the first person in our relationship.. to say 'I love you'. > ///<
He responded with a shocked look and a 'I love you too<33'
>x<
And he told me he was so happy to have me. That I was everything to him.. >///<
Kyaauuu...
I never felt so happy. Ever. He makes me happy. He makes me smile. He makes me giggle. He's perfect. He's sweet.
And he's just down right amazing.
He's my boy.
And I'm his girl.
And things couldn't be any better.
Now I know what true love feels like..
And I wouldn't want it any other way..
>-

Current Mood:

loved

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20 November 2009 @ 10:20 am

Today.. was..
Very dramatic.
Okay. So. I get too sleep around maybe 1 in the morning. Ruth kept me away chatting on YIM, and I knew I had work in the morning.
So I go to sleep.
And I wake up three hours later to my stepdad.
'Your mom's not waking up. Get your ass up I'm calling 911.'
And I set off into panic mode. Mom was having her spell. Not repsonding. Not waking up to our voices. Not moving..
And Chris is on the phone with 911.
After the cop appeared, I darted into my room, and started to get dressed. While doing this, I texted David with 'Please call when you can..'
And not even a moment later, my phone went off.
I cried my eyes out while talking to him. And I kept saying sorry. Because I knew I'd woke him up, but I was also glad he called.
His response?
'It's okay babe. Just relax. Shh~ It's okay. You alright?'
And he allowed me to sniff and snuff over the phone.
I own him so much for that. I've never cried to a boy over the phone. Ha.
Anyways I had to hang up, he'd said he'd call later to check on me, and we zoomed off to the ER room.
Nobody settled. Chris looked like he was about to break. David was just annoyed and sleepy. And I was trying hard not to cry.
They allowed us back to see her an hour later, and I was glad to find her looking much better.
They had to do a catscan. Of course. And stuff. But nothing seemed to be wrong they said.
So after of while of needles and such, they allowed her to leave this morning.
And I'm so glad she's alright.
You don't even know fear. Until you come close to losing someone you hold dear.
I was shaking like crazy. Gah I was just so happy she came home.

<3
I'm still very sleepy as it is now.. so I may sleep off a bit.

Just gah.. David.
He's a hero to me now.
That was a very sweet thing to do.
To call me even when its in the middle of the night. To make sure everythings okay.
I haven't told him this yet.
But..
Gah.. I love him.
> _

Current Mood:

exhausted

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17 November 2009 @ 11:07 am

Haa.. Well. I do believe the worse of my days may end now.
Crazy to say.. but..

I found someone.
Who's perfect. In everywhere way.
The guy who I only see in dreams.
Ahaha. So I've been talking to a few guys lately. Of course. Trying to tell myself to find better. Because of the whole Jay only talking to me when he feels like crap.. and I've grown sick of waiting for him to call.. It upsets me. I'm tried of crying..

So this one guy I've known for a while, Sao.. aka. David ((Lol. Same name as my bro haha.)) Well, he asked for my number yesterday, and I gave it to him. We spend half the night talking away, and he's such a tease. I love it. He was playing Call of Duty, Lol. Made me think of Myron the way he acted half the time, haha. But he says the sweetest things to me.
He told me that I'm cute > /// < He says he loves my shyness, it makes me cute. And I blush and stumble over my words, and he find that even cutier. And he's all trying to get me to go out with him, and I may just take that offer.. Cause.. All in all. He's just so sweet, innocent acting, and cute. I love it.
He'd make a great boyfriend.
And he's not as old as Jay and not as young as Myron either. He's older then me. I believe 22. Kinda old ya, but hey. Doesn't matter.
I like him.
To me he's a mix of both Myron and Jay.
But also has that cute and sweet charm to him.
And just.. eh..
Ya..
I shouldn't be getting all fussy and excited this eailier in a relationship.
But I had trouble getting to sleep last night because I had him on my mind.
It's odd.
Hehe.. > 0 <

And.. Going to the movies this weekend.
With my Sis/friend Dee.
Gonna see that scary movie everyone's talking about u:

Anyways.
I'm sleepy still..
David is on..
Kyaaauuu Byee..

Current Mood:

Blushie

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15 November 2009 @ 01:22 pm

Lol. Long time no post, eh?
Haha~ Well life has got me more busy then normal.

A lot has changed, and a lot hasn't.

Me and Jay have been on and off like cats and dogs. If fact once I am over 99% sure he cheated on me. Why do I stick with him? Pfff.. I don't know. My feelings are killer, ya know? Ya. o; So I stick around because I seem to have no other choice.

I've become a crazy asian fangirl. No really. I have. I love&adore korean music. You can blame Ruth. She got me into it hahaa. ;P
Me and her are still as tight as cookies and milk U:< We're always talking. Fangirling. And so. She even believes I'm part asian u:< I act it after spending so many time with them.

Norly. All my friends on gaia are asian. Kindaaa werid. But they are amazing. I love them. > w <

I'm learning Tagalog. It's what Ruth&Jay speak. Oillie- another friend of mine speaks it too. And I even talk to someone who lives IN the phillies. So thats neat. All of them are helping me. I even got a learning CD and a few books too. I enjoy it. It's really fun. xD

Music wise.. I LOVE BIGBANG. <3 And super Junior.. DBSK.. 2ne1. Wondergirls.. Lol. Ya. Love them all * - *

But most-ly Big Bang. Because I find them easy to sing with. And they are dead smexii<3 T.O.P. is my smexii bitsssh.

Haha~ ;D

Well other then that new wise..

The house across the road was set ablaze about two weeks ago. Late at night my brother came running into my room screaming; THE HOUSE B ON FIRE. D:
And we watched them put it out. The house is horrible looking now. They'll have to take it down to rebuild. u:
And come to find out- that the young 13-14 year old girl that lived there, set the fire. She called 911 laughing. wtf u:
Messed up world.

Neheehe. Well thats about all thats really going on.
I've been boucing off the walls like normal.
xD

Other then the big asia boxing fight that happened last night.
Ruth called me up while watching it. And then called again when it was over, shouting happily into my ear- HE WON. 8D
Yaaaaaay. 8D
I felt left out tho cause I think it would have been cool to watch u:<

Hehe. I shop on ebay a lot too now. I'm currently getting a white tiger hat/glows/scarf like thing. It's so kute <3

Anyways, My Ototo-san is online and imma talk to him. He's amazing<3
Peace P:

Current Mood:

content

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11 September 2009 @ 11:45 pm

Well life has been somewhat down the gutter. I finally got myself an ipod, only to have to take it back because it wouldn't charge right. BUT! That means I get to get the new ipod nano, and it comes with a video & picture cam. That's awesome yo. ;D

Anyways as far as things go, I've been busy, busy, busy. I've been sleeping in a lot from stress, and working hard at work and craaap.
Jay and me didn't get a chance to talk to each other until last night. That upset me fully, I was really stressed that something was up, but then found out he's been busy himself. He always calls when I'm at work, and of course I can't pick up then. >_< so when I picked up last night, he was all; ...You never pick up my calls. :C
And that's not my fault. >-< I texted him with that. Then he told me to go to sleep, and kept mummbling little things like; waiting... ;c waiting. waiting. sayeeet.
And finally I went all; ...;~; I love joo.
Him; c: I love you more.
Me; Nuuh.. I love you more. T-T
Him; I love you more then more. I win. ;D
Course we has those kind of love fights. Neheehe its cute~
Then I finally fell asleep cause I was sleepy x__X; and once again.. I kept hearing him mumble ily;s.

As of now;; I'm FINALLY done with my lines. I don't know if I posted this before, but;; Me, Ruth, and Jelli are doing covers for Korean songs. We've been planning it for a few weeks, and never got to it because Ruth's brother-- Jay >> wouldn't let her use his mic. He finally gave her his old one yesterday, so now we can get to work on recording the song! I got my parts done finally, and even tho I personally dislike it, Ruth keeps telling me it's great and she's got to work with editing it up. ^-^ I'm so excited to hear it.

I'm talking to her now on mic, and its funny cause a bunch of people were hanging with her. xD alll the voices are fun to listen to. o w o

Hehheeee.
Anyways.
Sleeepy.
e o e
Peace < / 3

Current Mood:

exhausted

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08 September 2009 @ 07:29 pm

I got bored.. xD And this fits me o_o

                                                            <p><em>Your result for The Golden Compass Daemon Test...</em></p>
                               <h4>Solitary Trickster</h4><p style="text-align:center"><img src="http://cdn.okcimg.com/php/load_okc_image.php/images/0x0/0x0/0/18319094330821185516.jpeg" width="500" height="333" /></p>
                               <div><p>You are shy and a little reclusive. Big crowds and new social situations make you feel uncomfortable and nervous. You prefer to stick with your close friends and family. You have a large personal space and you hate to feel crowded or overwhelmed. If you have been dragged out to a party, or have had a stressful day at work, you need to retreat to your own private place for a while afterwards to recharge.

</p><p>You are very sensitive, and easily hurt. You tend to worry about what other people are thinking about you. Often, the offhand comments that people make hurt your feelings. You tend to hide your feelings from people whom you are not comfortable with, like strangers, acquaintances or coworkers. You may brush things off with a joke or hide your pain behind a toss of the head. You try not to overreact to things, and you avoid conflict, especially with strangers. However, if you are pushed too far, you can defend yourself with a vengeance.

</p><p>With your loved ones you are quite different. You trust them with your feelings and with them you tend to be more open and sincere. You are loyal and clannish, and while you hide yourself from strangers and acquaintances, you come out of hiding when your close friends and family are around. Or at least, you do for a while, before you need to retreat back into your private place to re-charge.

</p><p>Your daemon would represent your secretive, shy nature, your dislike of conflict, and your ready ability to defend yourself or your friends, should the need arise. He or she would probably stick close to you when you felt nervous or uncomfortable, and provide you with humorous commentaries to keep you smiling.

</p><p>Suggested forms:
Coyote, Fox, Raccoon. </p></div><p><a href="http://www.helloquizzy.com/tests/the-golden-compass-daemon-test">
                               Take The Golden Compass Daemon Test</a> at <a href="http://www.helloquizzy.com/"><b style="color:#131313"><span style="color:#ac000c">H</span>ello<span style="color:#ac000c">Q</span>uizzy</b></a></p>

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03 September 2009 @ 03:39 pm

Jay told me I snore.
He's all; You snore like a pig~ ;B
Me; I do not B[
Him; Yes you do. And you talk to~ You go -snorting sounds- Jaaaay~ ;D
Me: I. Do. NOT. >o> You must have been dreaming those things. B[
Him; Nuh-uh. You sound like these aliens on this movie I watched too. >o> Your talking to them aren't you?
Me; ..Lolwut. NO~ Yer crazy xD -gigglesnort-

Then he told me he was going to hang up because he kept dropping his phone on the floor when he fell asleep- He wears a headset to talk to me and ya. xD; Well I was like; :c Nuuh. T.T..
And he was all; Fine~ I'll set it off my bed then c:
And then of course, we both fell asleep. >w<
I love it when we do that. I find it sweet.
Knowing I'm the last thing he hears before he falls asleep.
And that he loves me. Which he tells me a billion times over when we're on the phone.
He always teases me. Like. Haha I'm level so-and-so now Noob. ;D
And when I get all; I'm not a noob >o> I don't play non-stop like you!
He'll go all; I love you~<3
And then of course I say it back >w<
And whenever I go; I love you~
He goes; Heh~ I love you more ;D
So cute. ^w^
Tho he doesn't always reply to my text messages .w. Its kay tho.
He's making a new computer. xD Yes making. He made his current computer. Smart butt~
Yaa. c:

I've been up playing Kingdom hearts. I've grown to it again. You think I wouldn't after my past, but hell. Its fun and I love Disney. xD I got a bunch of new games for my ps2 also.
Oh~ And my new avatar pixel thingy. I got that today. I ordered it from some girl on gaia. I think it's so cuuute. It looks just like Jay. xD And I'm a puppy~<3

Grahh I love him >w< <3

Current Mood:

loved

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02 September 2009 @ 08:34 pm

Glad to have you..

Jay. >-<
For a while I've been on and off about missing him and stuff. He's back to calling again. For now anyways~.
Last night.. had to have been one of the best nights talking to him in a looong while ;////;
We chit-chatted like normal. And he went on trying to make me jealous. >> Going; Ohya~ This girl was checking on me at the mall~ o;
Me; So? >>;;
Him; No need to get jealous~ ;D
Me; -mufflemuffle- Imnotjealous. T.T
Him; c:

And how he looked so 'Ruff-y'? xD I think thats cute tho. He wants to shave his head again. Lol~
Anyways ya. We chated. Had fun. And the most sweetest moment ever happened.
We said our love yous and he started to tease me calling me a noob and stuff. And finally I just got sleepy. I yawned and curled up on my pillow.
He kept telling me; Go to sleep baby~
And I was like; z.z kay..
And so I rest my eyes. Because me and him fall alseep together on the phone half the time.
Well about five minutes later, when I'm about asleep.
I hear in a whisper-y voice; I love you.. so much baby..
And I just smiled. I found that so sweet. It made my day today. >-<
Just.. gahh.. ;////;
He's so sweet when he wants to be.
He called just to call me a noob a few minutes ago too. -x-"
He was all; Noob. Where you on maple. B[
Me; ..I just got off. >x>
Him; Get back on~
Me; Finnee B[
Him; Kay hanging up. Bye noobie~ ;D
Me; NOTANOOB. >o> Kaybai.

Andya. He didn't even say anything to me on maple when I got on. xD
Eeeeeee~ I hope he calls tonight >w<
There is nothing I love more then hearing his voice. Even if its only to tease me. I love it. He's fun to talk to~
^w^
Even tho he can be a butthead sometimes.
He's most-likely the best boyfriend I've had so far. >o<
I love him to death.

And mommy called me her little baby today~ xD
Well. It was raining on our way back to work from my meeting.
And My mom was all; My poor baby boy had to walk in the rain~
And I was like; Oh. And I'm not yer baby? :C
Her; O; I discovered how much you were still my baby when you fainted on me and nearly gave me a heartattack. :C
Me; Aww momay~ :D <3

Ever since the thing at the doctors, I've been glued to my mom. Cause I guess the shock or whatever. :c I was scared. And I feel safe by mom~ xD; Ya. I'm a baby. So what? >_>

Anyways bed time.
Well not really.
Just have to get off.
I'm hyper on monster right now.
Ya. This late at night.
Go fig. xD
IwannahavefunwithJaywaaaaah.
> ______ <

Current Mood:

high

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31 August 2009 @ 09:32 am

Today was rather.. eventful..
Okay. So I had to get a shot this morning. Knew it was coming, wasn't looking forward to it. We get there, the lady is all; Calm down. Don't tense your body up and this will go smoothly~
So I try. And calm. Tho of course my fear of needles is horriblely bad. So she sticks me, and takes it out. And here I am thinking; Okay. That wasn't so bad..
But it hurt. Afterwards it hurt badly. And I was like; ...Ow.. ow..
and then my head started to spin. I felt really whoosy. We had to wait ten minutes before we could leave, so we went to sit down in the lobby. As soon as I sat down, all I remember from there was me going; Mom.. I don't feel good.. I really.. really don't feel good. And then it felt like I just went to sleep. @___@
Minute later when I come to it there is people crowded all around me. And I'm laying on the floor. My whole body felt numb. I didn't know what was going on or where I was. I started to look for mom. I panicked but I felt so weak and so numb I couldn't get up. Mom was there and she was holding my hand and everything. They started to put ice behind my head and face. And I started to cry. .-.
After starting to calm down and relizing I was at the doctors still, they helped me up and took me to kitchen and got me some water. It was then that I started to feel the real pain.
My stomach was all cramped up. And deargah.. it never hurt that bad before. Ever. I was all curled up in the chair whimpering in pain. Mom never once left my side. She kept holding me close, and putting the ice on my head. And everything.
Soon it started to subside. And my color came back.
Just all in all..
Dear gah that was scary. >-<
It must have been ten times more scary to mom tho. She flipped out. She told me that I was all tensed up and my eyes rolled to the back of my head when I passed out. I was like; o__o;;
It scared her badly. .-. I was like; aww mommy ToT
She even wanted to skip work to keep an eye on me here now at home.
But I'm feeling much better now. Thank goodness.
But this event won't be forgotten. e.e
Eeeee.. all because of my fear of needles.
And the fact I didn't eat this morning.
Ah well neeeh.
I'mma take a nap now.
After this I'm all asdfjkl;.
>-<

Current Mood:

exhausted

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21 August 2009 @ 07:03 pm

I just can't take it ._.

I am so sick. Of everything. In my household.
My step dad comes home.
Me and him fight.
He bashes me about getting a job.
I get upset.
He yells.
Repeat the next day.
JUST GRAH. He tells ME to get a real job. When he himself is home almost half the week now since he quit his main job a year ago.
He works on a small side job.
And he wants ME to find a real job..
I HAVE A JOB. I get PAID. I get MONEY. Thats good. But he's bashing me. And saying I can't do blahblahblah..
I'm so fed up with it .-.

And on top of this..
I'm sick of being at home. Okay.
I've had it.
I want to get out. Do things. Have fun. Being kept at home all day is just.. idk. v.v
I've gotten to the point where I talk to myself. That's NOT normal okay?
I'm just so lonely. I have no one to talk to. No one to hang with. No one to play games and such with..
Because school starting up.
I miss Ruth. She use to always be on and we were always talking or playing games and such together..
and she's in school now v.v
And I'm stuck alone.
I'm going fucking crazy..

Okay.
So I've been in this random as hell depression thing..
I haven't been able to sleep without taking medication.
I've cried a lot lately.
And I've even had a thought about. Eh.. killing myself.
NO I'M NOT GOING TO OKAY JEES. -________-
Just popped into my mind the other day when I was in the worst of my spells.
All-in-all.. I just haven't felt good, non been myself this past week.
I even snapped at Jay today. Feeling annoyed about something so small and so stupid.
Aiiie. I won't be too shocked if he breaks up with me over it.
I was a bitch about it. Okay. Yes.
I've snapped at mom.
and all that crap.
The only thing that calms me down is listening to music and ridding my bike.

Neh.. I was almost hit by a car tho on my bike yesterday .-. That set me off even more.
I was just about to pull out of my driveway on my bike, when this mustang picks to go zoomzooom and I barely had time to stop my bike..
And after the car past me I took off down the road, only to find a second later, that same car was behind me, on my tail. It scared the LIVING SHIT out of me.
I took off quickly because it seemed like they were following me. And then I quickly turned down a different road and they went the other way..
Just gah.
._.
Fucking car.

I need a trip away. Go to the beach. Lay in the sand. Anything.
I want to get over this stupid. Fucking. Emo spell shit.
I'm so annoyed with it.
I blame hormores.. -.-
I was shaking like a leaf. .-. Fucking car.

Current Mood:

crappy

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18 August 2009 @ 06:34 pm

Jay called me this morning.
^w^
That made me happy.
And he texted me last night. His computer is broken, so he's been upset about it. So that's kinda why he hasn't called me. xwx;;
And last night he was out late with friends. Ehehee. He said they want to make a new song. o: That's cool~
I'm glad he called tho. I was starting to worry exe
The first thing he said when I picked up was; NOOB. I missed you. ;c
Me; NOTNOOB :C I missed you tooo. ;x;
Him; I missed you more. >x> hehe. c:
Me; Nuuuh >X>
Then we talked a bit before he went to go eat. xD
So ya.
I'm feeling better. Of course.
And there is alot I didn't post in here before cause I was sad.. so.. ya.

First off; I GOT A GOLDFISHIE~
I got him this weekend. >w< I named him Koiyo. He's a three-tailed goldfish. I love him. He's a oddie. I swear. Whenever you get close to his bowl he swims around all fast like until you back away. Then he's all calm, and he likes making bubbles. xDD Not even joking. He goes to the top of his bowl and makes little bubbles everywhere. It's so cuuute >w< I love him c:

And.. I get to meet my.. Step-sister for the first time.
It feels kinda odd. I don't know. She has to go to a speical school. I don't know much about her, only that the fact she is Chris's daughter.
And she wants to see him so badly.
She's coming for the weekend. On the 30th. So.. Maybe things will go well. Maybe me and her will get along. I hope so. :3
I have to..
to..
to..
GETASHOTTHEDAYAFTER TOT
I flicking hate the doctor.
I DO NOT WANT TO GO ;x;
BLAH TxT

Neh.
Anyways.
I smell food.
I want it. So peace.
Out.
:D

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moody

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17 August 2009 @ 06:06 pm

Missing him;; dream..

Life as of the past few days has been.. well. Depressing. I have everyone breathing down my back, and all I want is my space.
But I feel so alone too. Ruth has been so busy with school that I hardly ever get to talk to her anymore, so I am always alone online now and days. And I don't have many people to turn to for fun. So I feel lonely.
I'll admit I cry easily over that fact now.
I just want a friend who will stick around and hang with. That's hard to ask for now and days when most people lie and betray you ._.
That and Jay hasn't been calling me like he use to. That's setting off an emotions like crazy, because last time he did that, he broke up with me. And that's the last thing I want.. I really, really, really miss him. It's driving me half crazy. >__<

I had a dream last night tho..
It felt.. so real. I didn't want to wake up. It was so amazing ;-;
Okay. So it started out simple. We were in a cabin in the woods. Kinda like the one when I went to Vortex Springs but way bigger. We had cable and internet.. soso. My whole family was there, and so were Ruth and Jay. So. Me, Ruth, and Jay were all hanging in the bedroom. Jay laying all plopped on the bed, Ruth was sitting on the side of the bed playing on a laptop, and I was just sitting by Jay's feet. I started to feel sleepy, so I laid beside Jay's legs, yawning. Of course he didn't notice, he was watching TV. And before I knew it I was laying beside him, my face in his t-shirt. And he put his arms around me and still watched tv...
Then I remember Ruth glaring all mean like and I was like; o.o;;
But it was odd. It was like I could just feel the softness of his skin. And stuff like that and.. >///<
Ya. T.T
Then the moment was killed when my mom came in saying we had to eat and Jay and Ruth left to eat. I was sleepy so I laid there. And when I went to eat there was no food..
Then everyone went swimming. It was like a waterpark kinda thing. o.o
And then I woke up.
But ya..
That dream felt so real.
It was odd..

Neh..
anyways..
peace. v.v

Current Mood:

sad

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11 August 2009 @ 02:54 pm

I spend almost.. all night last night playing Maplestory with Jay.
xD He's such a silly dork. We were on the phone while running around together threw the mapletowns and stuff.
He made a new account because he wants to be a knight.
So here we are just running around like doorks.
And he's always going; Haha noooob~
Like always. He loves saying that now. He even made up a mini song.
"Your a nooob~ Your a noob~"
xD
And so we did that for almost the whole night. It was about 3 before I had to call it quits because I was so sleepy.
He had to go pick up his uncle from the airport at 2 his time so he had to hang up shortly afterwards.
And so ya.

He told me he's went way over his minutes on his phone.. because of me. xD
He said he doesn't care because he doesn't have the money to pay the bill next month anyways; so the phone will be turned off.
And I'm like; ...:C That's gonna suuuuuuck.
Him; Well your boyfriend is broke~ D;

So next month I'm guessing we'll start talking more on the internet. Unless he calls from his house phone. But that suuucks T.T Cause I like talking to him before bed. That's the best time of day~
v x v
Makes me wanna move there even more. I tell ya.

My step dad pissed me off.
Okay so I told him I was going to sleep today. And he's like. FINE. B[
So I fall asleep. And right when I wake up; he comes banging into my room munching on cake; WHY ISN'T YOUR ROOM CLEAN!?
Me; ..I JUST FREAKING WOKE UP. .____.
Him; THATS IT I'M TAKING YOUR LAPTOP AND CELLPHONE.
Me; YOU HAVEN'T EVEN GIVEN ME TIME TO CLEAN IT DJSSDLHF D<
And then we ended up yelling until I just put my earphones on and turned the music up loud. -.-"
I swear. I hate him. So freaking much.

And I got pissed off with my mom too.
She made a racist joke aimed at my friends.
I said; FUCK OFF. And didn't talked to them for the rest of the night.
They don't know my friends. And they never will. :|
I'm sick of them being so damn racist.
I hate them.
I hate this house.
I can't wait to fucking move out -_______-
I'm never coming back when I leave this hellhole.

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10 August 2009 @ 04:32 pm

Birthday Bash. o;

Yesterday was David's birthday.
xD We went the fish market~ And I got Pocky~! I had two boxes. They were both gone within a few hours. I was a sad puppy then :C
Ahahaa~
But we had a cookout. After a bad storm went threw the area. Really. We had a horrible storm yesterday @_@ It was crazy.
I stuffed my face with Shrimp, and of course birthday cake. :B
ANd my brother was being a butt. He wouldn't blow the candles out on his cake. He was to busy playing his new video game and didn't want to do it. xD Everyone was all; DAVID GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE NOW D<
And he was like; ....8D -plays game-
Mom; D< -getsmad- DAVID BERRY GET OUT HERE NOW. -Drags-
Him; ...:C -dragged; stands before the cake and watches the candles drip- Lol. :D
Me; >O> -smacks- BLOW THEM OUT I DON'T WANT TO EAT CANDLE. B[
Him; -after five minutes blows it out- O; -goes back to room-
Everyone was all yelling at him. xD It was funny.
After that I headed off to bed and watched videos like normal.

Then of course; Jay called me.
And for the first time;; we played Maplestory together. xD Well we have before; but we weren't in the same spot. We found each other and stuff. And he acts like a total goofball xD It was funny. Someone was throwing Money up in a place no one could jump too. And there must have been like 20 people trying to get to the money but they couldn't. xD Jay joined in with; OOOO MONEY~ O: And I just gigglesnorted like crazy because of all these people jumping around like retards. And seeing Jay's avi jump around with them just cracked me up.
Then we headed off to fight and level up. But his internet got taken offline and he ended up walking in place.. xD It was funneh.

I'm getting him a cash card for MS today. >w>... because I can. And I never did get him a birthday gift. So there ya go. :D I plan to get Ruth one too. But it'll have to be next week~ xD

Ya.
Me and Jay are closer then close now.
And I just love it.
He calls me EVERY day. At not just once, but at least three times or more. He call's out of the blue just to tease me and tell me what he's up too.
He always calls me at nighttime and we play games/ just chit-chat until we fall asleep together.
And he sometimes calls me in the morning when he wakes up just to say; Baby I love you~
It's so sweet. And I just adore it.
I can't get him off my mind.. that's why I'm always posting about him here. >w<
He's such a silly dork. and I love him to death.
He told me he loves teasing me. He said it's fun. xD So he's always. ALWAYS. Calling me 'noob' now. The first thing he says when I pick up the phone;
Noob.
The first text he sends me is;
Noob.
And I just laugh. xD
If it's not noob. It's Newb. Or Beginner.
He's such a doooooork x w x

OH! And I ran into one of my old middle school friends! Holly.
Holly.. me and her were cool back in the day. We use to always hang out together and shit..
Till ya.. she changed on me and we sorta stopped talking. Then I moved of course.
She contacted me on myspace..
and..
She's 4 months preg. Due to be wed nexted week. And still in high school.
I was like; o______o.. Holly?! O_O;;
And ya..
It's nice tho. >W<! Maybe me and her can hang out again like old times. She wants to talk to me on the phone. xD

And why is it.. Everytime I type here; he calls?
He just now called me. o;
So I better go~
Peace homies. xD

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08 August 2009 @ 11:06 am

I've had two energy drinks in the past two days.
And I'll admit it now. They are dang good. xD
I get so hyper tho; I tend to get a stomach ache at first; then I start boucing off the walls 8D!
I had a Rockstar at work yesterday to keep me awake. Because of course; I stayed up almost half the night waiting for Jay to call me. So I knew I'd be sleepy. But daaang. That thing kept me wide awake *w*
And this morning I had a Monster. And woooowooo~ I'm so hyper right now. xD
I woke up my brother's friend by kicking the door in and screaming; WAKE UP B[
He was like; O____O;?!
xDD It was funny~
And then I slammed my pillow into my fan while playing with my cat; and it scared the living shit out of him. He darted right into the wall. I lol'd so fucking hard over that before giving him a hug. He's fine. xD
This is why I shouldn't be allowed to drink this stuff *w* Even if it's so damn good~~~
And I watched a hell of a scary movie last night. Felidae. It's like.. a old german 'kids' movie. To heck would I ever let my kid watch that sheeeet. xD
It was about this cat who is trying to find out who is murdering the other cats. It had freaking bloody killings, guts, bisexual cats, and even a part with sex. I was like; o___o HOLYSHEET O_O;;
It scared me. Cause some parts were just so horrible. :C But I lol'd at the sex part. xD It wasn't to dramatic or anything, it was funny.
But when it came to gore; holy shiiit x___X
But ya. :C It was cool I guess. Being as I love cats xD
After that I sorta went to bed.
Jay called me like right as I fell asleep ewo Like always~ xD
He was talking about how his parents were planning on using his room when he left. Chii~ What parents don't do that? I was told my room was going to become the computer/work out room when I left. xD;
Then he said he wanted to move to Japan. Cause of anime and shiit.
I was like; Oooo. o;
Him; But what would happen to my baby if I did that? :C
Me; ..I'd follow you there. >w>
Him; O; -random singing moment-
Me; -gigglesnort- xD
Him; I better lock my windows then because I have a stalker. O;
Me; >o> Oh? Who would that be? o;
Him; Her name is Emily~ ;D

xD
He's such a dork >w<
We fell asleep.
And then he woke me up at like six this morning ewo
All; zwz I love chu bby~
And fell back asleep.
I slept too until he mummbled things I didn't understand. xD;
I guess he was sleep talking >o> Ruth said he's done that better. XDD

He was all; RUTH.
And she went; WHAT? -looks over bed-
Him; -sleeping- zwz

I laughed. :D

I guess breaking up and spending the two weeks apart from each other was a good thing..
Cause he treats me so much better now.
He even texts me all the time with random stuff.
And calls out of the blue. xD
And he called me 'Smexii'. Which is rare for him to say. Cause he's always 'I'm so smexii~'. Don't get me wrong. he still says that xD
I'm so happy to have him in my life. I don't know what I would do without him. c:

anyways I better go.
He just called
peace
<3

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cheerful

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06 August 2009 @ 09:07 am

Forever my babyboi~

Gah. Nothing can explain. How much I adore Jay's smile. Everytime I see it I end up giggling. It's cute. I don't know why. It just is. >-<
He added me back on yim. We ended up deleting each other when he first broke up with me. v.v;
But ya.. we webcam chatted almost half the night yesterday.
And I swear. Everytime I saw his smile;; I blushed.
He's just so cute. @-@
And. Yes. He's freakin' smexii too.. >->..
He took his shirt off on webcam yesterday ... *W*!
I was like; o________o -starestare- ... o////o -blushblush- x///x
He's a skinny butt. xD But he's neeeeeeh x///X
it took a while; but he finally got me onto the webcam. I told him I didn't want him to see me cause I'm so chubby. .w.
And what he said was so sweet..
"I don't care about that; I love you and that's what matters."
I was like; awww.. >o<
And so I upped my cam. And he called me up on my phone ewe
and I'll leave things at that. >->
Jay brings out the side of me I didn't know I had.
And after last night;; I love him more then anything in this world.I
I'll do whatever it takes to make him happy. He's the most amazing guy ever. And I adore him more and more everyday. n//n
He kept making me laugh last night x w X And he's all; I'm silly, huh? c:
Me; Chaya. >w< dork. c:
He's miiine.
And I'm his. Forever~<3
I so wanna run away to where he is. I want to be with him so badly @.@
Bleh. :C

Anyways; My brother is over today~! :D
That means we're gonna play MS together. That's fun :3
And whoosh. I didn't sleep well last night.
Jay kept popping into my head.
I was like; o__o;; GETOUTIWANNASLEEP vxv
and I woke up like five times before finally saying flick it e.o
Neeh. I'll just end up passing out sometime this afternoon xD; which maybe not a good thing. I have work tomrrow. And I need to get my brother his Birthday gift. I'm getting him a Maplestory cashcard. Cause thats what he wants. He's all; I WANT DIS WEAPON SISSY O; LOOK ITS SO COOL. IT LIGHTS UP... 8D
XD
So I'mma get him it cause I'm nice like that.
c:
I've bonded with him sorta. I sorta think it's because of Jay and Ruth. They fight; but not like how me and my brother did. Me and David use to never get along. Now I can talk to him about things; and we play video games together. Its really nice. I don't feel so alone for a while. Because we all know I have no friends around this lame town ;P
That's why I have plans to run away. Trust me; when the chance comes, I'm taking it quicker then anything. I want to start a life with Jay oneday. Sure. I may sound crazy saying that. But I would love that. More then anything..
>o<
Anyways I'mma go.
Peace~

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04 August 2009 @ 03:22 pm

I'M NOT NOOB :C

Jay has gotten a kick out of teasing me now.
Cause I always whine playfully. >x>
Jay is playing Maplestory now. ^w^ So now we have a way of talking other then the phone. That makes me happy. Tho he's like.. level 52. .w.;
And I'm only level 19 right now.
So he's all; Hahah your a noob~
And I'm like; NUUUUH ToT I AM NOT A NOOB~
And then he's like; fine. your a newbe. ;P
Me; I'M NOT THAT EITHER. TOT -flailflailwhine-
So now he teases me like crazy. And it really reminds me of Myron; and I don't know why.
Myron use to tease me about everything. >x>
Butya. Jay is such a dork. xD
I am totally crazy about him now. x w X
And I am so happy that he is finally starting to see how much he means to me. Calling me out of the blue during the day just to tell me whats up; and texting me. >w< It makes me feel so loved. I am so glad.
It was funny last night.
He texted me; Whats up?
ONLY to call me a second later; not even giving me time to text him back.
I was like; KLASJFHF >O> You text only to call? B[
Him; >o>.. you text to slow.
Me; You only gave me like what. A second? Ohwow. <o<
Him; ;D

And he starting to brag about his maplestory person. He's all; Smexii mage~ I'm 100% mage~ smexii~ and your a lame archer~ And I'm smexii~ smexii~ smexii~
Me; <o< Shhhyoooou.

Graaah. I wish he was on MS right now. xD But his dad took the internet so he can't get on it. And he called me this morning just to tell me that.
him; :C I'm sad. The net is down.
Me; awww D:
Him; Kay. I'm watching a movie now talk later bai. ;D
xD

Right now it's storming. :C Well it's starting to clear up now. But it was some bad weather. Dx I was scared v.v
But it's all good now.

Lol, I think I've finally given up gaia. xD
Which is a good thing I guess. To much blah on there now and days.
I'm thinking about making MS my permit everyday site.
Use to be myspace, then I moved onto Gaia, and now onto Maplestory~
Yesh. xD
I've already made a few friends.
It's fun. :D
Yaaay I'm gone nao.
Peace<3

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scared

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03 August 2009 @ 04:57 pm

Jay has been acting odder then normal.
Calling me every night. And now texting me to see what I'm up too. And even calling threwout the day?
He use to call me every now and again. Skipping a few days before he finally called. Leaving me hanging..
and now he's not. He's calling me everyday. >o< and that makes me happy.
He acts like Myron sometimes tho. And that's kinda scary to me. xD
Today he got a kick out of calling me a cowgirl. Why? Because I said I wanted to work with animals.
He told me why didn't I ever think about joining the Navy?
And I said; cause I enjoy working with kids and/or animals.
And he's like; haha Cowgirl. Yeee-haaa~
And I'm like; B[ I AM NOT A COWGIRL. >O>
xD
And he teased me about that for a while. The butt. >x>
Then he turned up his music all loud-like in his car. And he's all; YAAAABOI THIS HOW WE DO ET IN SAN DIEGO~ ;D
And I'm just laughing my butt off cause he's all singing and it sounds funny.. xD
And he started to complain about how the person in front of him was driving so slowly. Come to find out it was an old lady.
And he's all; B[ I'm bored. I can't drive fast.
I'm like; DON'T YOU DARE GET YER BUTT IN A WREAK B[

Then he went on trying to get me jealous. Saying; What if a girl raped me? And I she had my kid?
I said; ..>> I'd kill her before the kid was born. B[
And he said I didn't get jealous much.
And I told him I did. I just never told him when I do. Cause its just who I am. I don't speak my feelings.
Which is the true. I did get jealous over that. I just don't show it. I always get jealous when he talks about other girls. .w. Who wouldn't?
I don't get why he wanted me jealous.. >>;
But ya.
I'm enjoying this talking all the time thing. It's like were closer now somehow.
Watch.. I bet I killed it and he'll start going to talking every other day v.v
I hope he doesn't pull that again. I really love hearing his voice ><
I love everything about him. nwn He's such a dork.
Even if his theme line is 'I'm so smexii~' xD
He still says that after like.. ever sentence. 'What?'
'I'm so smexii~'
xD
I always say 'What' cause sometimes it's hard to understand what he's saying. x w X Not my fault.

Anyways I'm chillaxing right now.
I hope he calls meh again tonight.
It's the highlight of my day when I get to talk to him.

>w<

Ilovemyjay.

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cheerful

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02 August 2009 @ 02:15 pm

Okay. So maybe I don't have bugs in my bed.
I said I may have over reacted jees. >>
I mean there were little bugs on my floor. owo;
that looked like bedbugs. So ya. e.e;

Anyways; lately things have been /okay/ I guess.
I've been relaxing, and playing maplestory.
Which I'm so freaking addicted to right now.
And that's so odd for me. :|
Because normally I'm more into typing and chating and roleplay.
Adventure games are out there for me.
But gees @-@ It's so addicting!
Ya. I has a white tiger as a pet >w<
And I have a tiger tail. :D! I got a cashcard. xD
I'm currently a Wind Archer too. :3

Ya. Other then that; Jay's birthday was Friday <3
He's now '15' years old. >o> Nah he's 24. xD
He's such a silly dork. He texted me a picture of his birthday cake. :3
And he's getting over his cold too~! I'm happy for that.
And he's been calling me every night. c:
Just to tell me to go to sleep xD and sleep together over the phone. >w< Odd I know.
It seems like were a bit closer then we were before. He's even came to me with one of his main troubles.
I was worried about him like crazy then ;c
But ya.
Everything has been wonderful. >w<
I feel asleep before him last night. I was so sleep e.o
I woke up laying on my phone and I was like; o___o;;;... Oops..
Ya xD

Anyways..
I'm sleeping today. e.o
I slept till like 12..
But I woke up at 8 cause I felt really ill. e.e I still do. My stomach is killing me.. neh..
x-x
so peace
out~

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